The Lonely Girl's Beer Guide to San Francisco: Jaded Love
Lonely Girl gets the most lonely on Valentine’s Day. Seeing all those couples around makes her extra sad that her only past time is going to bars alone. Nothing stops her from doing this even on holidays such as this one. But every once in a while, in a fair blue moon, you find a couple that brings you more joy then the bitterness of being utterly alone. That couple reminds you why people fall in love and why love even exists. Why it’s a beautiful thing to share our lives with someone that we care so much about. Even though Lonely Girl is a firm believer that the one we can truly give all our love to is ourselves, every once in a while a couple like this comes along and she, herself questions that idealism. Sure enough, that random blue moon struck Lonely Girl and there they were. The perfect couple, a couple you can be a 3rd wheel with and still feel good about yourself. And that couple that came along happened to be some of the greatest bartenders in San Francisco. How they met? Purely a freak accident, but the greatest sign that fate exists. I’ll stop talking about myself in the third person and get to the real story.
Recently an article came out in The Bold Italic about bartender couples and their stories. I couldn’t wait to share this article with this couple I speak so highly of. Of course their respond was as expected,
“Our story is so much better.”
My respond, “I agree.” And somehow I was able to convince them to write a little something something about themselves.
Lonely Girl presents, the greatest San Francisco love story of all time. You will laugh, you will cry. You’re welcome:
“What makes two people fall in love? Similar interests? Must love dogs? World of war craft? Serendipitous moments? All these things can be the catalyst of a great love story. This Valentines day think of your current love or the loves of your past and think about what drew you two together, and more importantly what kept you together. We want to share our romantic success story. San Francisco is an amazing city, although it can be very hard to find love. Such a diverse dating pool makes for many misconnections, and hurt feelings. People are disposable these days, everyone is a text or craigslist response away. On to the next one… it’s a downward spiral and everyone is doing it. How did we find each other? I guess you can call it serendipity. Two people, similar interests, both coming off failed relationships. We were very lucky to find each other, paths crossed, no regretful nights or forced meetings by mutual friends to thank. Just two random people in the middle of their busy San Francisco lives - and we caught each others eye. We didn’t meet in a bar the way many unsuccessful relationships begin. And we didn’t meet online like many others. Real life, real people, just like it used to happen. We love this about us. Being in love in this city is great, always an adventure.
Shortly after we started our courtship we found out each other’s occupation. Bartender Couple!!!! We never thought we would date another bartender but it was too late and too good to stop. Early on in our relationship, very much in love, very much in our honey moon phase things began to change. After a long night at the bar we would both meet in our nocturnal abilities and swap stories. Each night we got a little more comfortable and talked a little more shit. People look at bartending as a glamorous lifestyle. Free sex, after hours parties, and all the booze you can pour down your gullet… We disagree. We quickly learned that we were the perfect support system for such professions. Only another bartender can relate to the ridiculous shit we endure every shift. Imagine this: you go to work, the guy on the other end of the phone you are closing a sales deal with is hammered and won’t agree terms you had discussed. You then go to get some printer paper, and the office supply guy makes a comment about how good your lips would look around his dick, or you go back to your cubicle and your co-worker decides to blow a fireball to show off his flair bartending skill that he learned off a groupon deal. You try to find some peace and quiet and your receptionist pukes on your feet as you pass. Insanity!!! This only in our first hour on the job and we have 7 more to go. Ok maybe that’s a bit dramatic but we aren’t that far off.
We have it pretty good, but if there is one thing about bartending we didn’t know is how much it would make us hate. San Francisco is a peter pan playground for the well to do and overly entitled. We don’t care who you are, what you invented, who you know, and please take off your fucking Google glasses when you are talking to us.
Every once in a while when we share a night off we like being on the other side of the bar. We like to spread the love around town, so chances are if we didn’t serve you then you definitely served us. We all see each other, week after week. When we sit at your bar its not an open invitation to stroke yourselves publicly. We are glad you can make any drink ever known to man - and you have a really cool bartending tattoo, but can you please just make our fucking drinks? We dont want to hear it, we just want to drink, eat, and be merry. The who’s who of San Francisco nightlife/mixology/popularity contest does not concern us. We are here to hustle, make money and maybe a few friends in the process.
We don’t want to seem ungrateful, we love our jobs, we love what we do, and most importantly we love each other. We share similar values and morals and as we like to say…. “The couple that hates together, stays together…”
PS. Here is a drink to help you swallow that bitter pill.
With a new EP dropping later this month, a slot at Italy’s Spring Attitude Festival alongside such heavyweights as Four Tet and Com Truise, and major labels like Stones Throw and Carpark knocking at his door, 21-year-old musician and Long Island native Ryan DeRobertis, better known as SAINT PEPSI, is poised for success. Do415 had the chance to chat with the young producer as he readied for his first trip to the Golden State and his West Coast debut in San Francisco on February 15th.
Do415: First things first: We’re crazy excited you’re coming to San Francisco.
Saint Pepsi: I’m so excited too! I’ve only been to New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Florida. I never, ever travel. I haven’t been so excited for something since I don’t know when. It’s like all I think about.
Do415: That’s the best. You must be counting down the days.
SP: Half of me is, the other half is rushing to finish as many new edits/new tracks to premiere at the show. I never get the opportunity to do things like this so I want to make it super special.
Do415: The momentum you’ve picked up since the release of Hit Vibes this past summer has been incredible to watch. We can only imagine what it’s been like on your end.
SP: It’s been unbelievable, but to be honest, my life was literally about to crumble into pieces before Hit Vibes came out. I was still at Boston College and I had worked myself into this really bad depression. I had stopped attending classes and warped my mind and I was just a mess because I thought I didn’t have control over my life. I was a political science major. It was STUPID. I made Hit Vibes the first month I was home from BC. And Long Island’s sort of like a cultural wasteland in itself. Growing up my parents sheltered me so I never went to Brooklyn or anything for fun. So it took all the positive energy I had in my body to make ‘a unifying dance record’ in spite of all the bullshit, the academic inconsistency, the lashing out at my upbringing. Just wanting to be something different.
Do415: It’s pretty remarkable that an album that just absolutely radiates joy came out of a time that was so dark for you. Has music always been a part of your life?
SP: My dad took me to see Duran Duran and Depeche Mode, which were amazing experiences in themselves, but I was also like 5 years old haha. My first ‘real’ concert was Toro y Moi when I was 18. But I started writing my own songs when I was 14. They were really weird because they weren’t GOOD, but they were a lot different from what everyone else did at the time. Then I put this shitty song on iTunes when I was 16 and everyone at my school thought I was famous hahaha.
Do415: You’re singing! SAINT PEPSI sings?!
SP: Yes! I can’t wait to start singing again on the new SP record that will be coming out later this year. It’ll be an official release and my proper label debut.
Do415: Big things! Is this where you always saw SAINT PEPSI going?
SP: Hahaha not in the slightest. It’s kind of a funny story. In November of 2012, I did a whole album called Adversaries under the name The Cold Napoleons. Wrote and recorded it in 2 weeks. And then over winter break I started SAINT PEPSI as sort of an art project, but it was very tongue-in-cheek. The running joke was ‘imagine SP becoming the biggest project out of anything you’ve ever done.’
Do415: And now here you are. And here you’ll be in no time at all! What’s at the top of your to-do list while in San Francisco?
When, as predicted, the world ended last December, many of us could never have guessed that our first year post-existence would bear an uncanny resemblance to the years that preceded it, full of the same highs and lows, triumphs and failures that we had come to recognize as part of life on Earth.
This applied to life in the Bay as well, as a number of local stories touched on a range of recognizable emotions, from anger to compassion and shock to joy. The real spirit of a city that sometimes seems to be at war with itself was best represented when we came together to make a little kid’s dream come true, so while these stories are presented in no particular order, the only place that made sense to start was with Batkid.
Top 10 Bars of San Francisco - 2013 (The Lonely Girl’s Guide)
It’s so hard to make a list of the best bars in San Francisco, because there are honestly way too many to choose from. I mean, if you’re a local most likely you have a set 3 bars that are your go to, 2 you go to strictly for first dates, and every once in a while you’ll try a new one just for kicks, but usually you don’t make your way back there for another year. For now, this is my top 10 list of bars that I frequented in 2013 and enjoyed (alone and with friends because I do hang out with people I swear). If you haven’t been to any of these on this list, well, you should probably go. And here’s why, as if you really needed an excuse to go out drinking…
10. Fly (Sutter St.)
Not to be confused with Fly’s evil twin sister on Divisidero. Fly of Sutter St. is the go to spot for my group of friends. Chances are regardless of the time of the day one of us will be there. Because of this, we all know the menu by heart and most likely know all the bartender’s schedules. I don’t go there as much as most of us, but I do enjoy it every time I go. Everyone is super rad, the food is decent and the drinks are strong. My recommendation: the House Sangria.
Not a lot of people make their way out to the “other” side of Folsom, but if you find yourself wandering about 19th and Folsom, be sure to wander into the Homestead for a drink. I like this bar because I can do there by myself, read a book, and eat peanuts and throw the shells on the ground (bonus). For some reason whenever I’m at this bar I really want to drink cheap beer straight from the can and top it off with a shot of Jameson. Nothing special, but my recommendation if you ever go here.
How can you not? This is a staple of San Francisco. Don’t consider yourself a real San Franciscan if you never been there. Just saying. If you haven’t gone, stop what you are doing right now, and go there for a simple yet quant gin and tonic. I don’t know what it is about the gin and tonics at Vesuvio I never crave gin unless I am here. They are made with pure love. Enough said, go here make some tourist friends or something.
Most of time I tell people to avoid 6th street at all cost, right now I’m telling you to go there. Like sun shining at the end of a foggy San Francisco morning, Monarch is that same shine in the break of crack heads. The bar is beautiful, gold and red everything, fancy furniture and a crazy wild party in the basement. Whenever I go there, I feel like I’m not supposed to be there as if it is a speakeasy or a gentlemen’s club. By afternoon it is a classy bar for fancy cocktails, by night head down to the basement and enjoy their incredible sound system and some fireball shots. How could you go wrong?
6. Thee Parkside
And here I go raising the standards for bars with outdoor seating. Many people would probably think that I would put Zeitgiest here because it’s central, that is, it is the go to bar for most people. But no, as much as I like that bar… Thee Parkside does it all better. If you want to smoke outside with your drink, eat amazing food, listening to your punk rock. Well look no further then Thee Parkside. I love this bar for many reasons, but mostly because the staff is nice, the drinks are strong and the food is delicious. I don’t personally smoke, but the smell of smoke and whiskey is very comforting to me. My recommendation for this bar, a margarita to wash down their world famous pulled pork sandwich.
I actually don’t understand why more people don’t talk about this San Francisco staple. Like Vesuvio, if you haven’t been here before you have a serious problem on your hands. This white trash themed bar is determined to get you shit faced the moment you walk in. Whether it is through the numerous Jello shots you are offered every ten minutes, a forty of miller high life literally served in a paper bag or, my personal favorite vodka nightmare, the after school special (vodka and grape soda), you are surely going to black out. Not only do they have the strongest drinks that taste like sugar, they also have a DJ who plays all your favorite 80’s/90’s mashups as well as a trailer that will deep fry anything and serve it to you. There is so much to go wrong with all these combinations but it is worth every questionable thing you don’t remember doing in this bar. What happens at Butter, stays at butter. Next time look for my friend’s pink bra hanging from one of the water pipes on the ceiling, it’s there… true story.
4. Magnolia Gastropub & Brewery
Got to have at least one brewery on this list, if I had to choose one, I would have to go with Magnolia. Conveniently located on Haight Street this bar has some of the finest beers on tap one could ask for. Completely overshadowed by it’s brewery competitors in the city, people forget about Magnolia constantly. Those people are what I like to call “crazy.” Very difficult concept to grasp so I’ll make it easy for you, Stout of Circumstance, or if dark brews aren’t your jam, Sara’s Ruby Mild. You honestly can’t go wrong with any of these beers if you consider yourself a beer lover. The flavors are complex and keep your mouth watering for more. Not to mention, they grill an excellent burger. Pure bliss.
The sweet smell of whiskey and wood haunt me forever, in the best kind of way. Churchill will make you the greatest concoctions involving your favorite alcohol. They don’t shy away when you ask them to make something they think you might like, they simply ask you how you are doing and make something based on what you are feeling, it is quite fantastic. If you want a glass case of emotion, they are going to make that for you, you’ll love it I guarantee. However, magic is in the classics here, my recommendation is their old fashioned.
2. Moby Dicks
Need I say more? If you’re familiar with my column, you know that this place is one of my top favorites! Seriously though, a gay bar straight boys can also enjoy? Who would have thought? Everyone I know who has been here is down, it’s one of the happiest places on Earth. I’m not going to elaborate much, if you really want to know the details of this beautiful place check back in on my article about it here (When In Doubt Drink With The Gays) 2 for 1 Margarita/Lemon Drop specials everyday, how could you go wrong? SHOUTOUT TO MARY THE BARTENTER.
AND THE NUMBER 1 BAR IN SAN FRANCISCO IS….
1. Dear Mom
Dear Mom now occupies a building that has always held a special place in my San Francisco heart. Back when I first moved to this glorious town almost 6 years ago this building on the corner of 16th and Harrison was an interesting bar called El Ricon. I liked going here (when I was 18) because local bands from my art school always played there and they served nachos. Of course, this bar had a dark shadow as it was the only place I’d ever seen someone literally get smashed over the head with a glass bottle. Needless to say, this place was shut down and unoccupied for some time. That is until Dear Mom moved on in, at this point I could drink legally so I was curious to see what they had done with the place. And I was pleasantly surprised. Owned by Whiskey Thieves and Thieves Tavern, this place surpasses all expectations. You got your tasty drinks, local food (different venders occupying the same kitchen changing weekly), and ping pong tables. A match made in heaven. It’s also big enough so if you run into an ex-boyfriend you can hide very easily, amazing. The lighting is cool, the people are awesome, the drinks are cheap, the bathroom is usually nice. No bad things to say about this place. Always a great time, even when it’s packed. Go here, be happy, enjoy drinking out in public.
After months of obsessively listening to new music and numerous in-office debates about the merits (or lackthereof) of Drake, Miley and everyone else who made waves this year, we’ve called upon two of our own to bring you their picks for the 10 best albums of the year.
It was an absolutely wonderful year for music in the Bay and, looking back, it was a struggle for us to narrow this list down to 20. Our staff has varied tastes, so we each contributed a few of our favorites. The following are presented in calendar order with special shouts going out to April 2013 for having 1/4 of the shows on this list… you were a legendary month and we’ll never forget you!
1. Solange and Kelela, The Independent, February 5th
2. Wavves and FIDLAR, Bottom of the Hill, march 22nd
3. Phoenix, The Independent, April 1st
4. Rhye, Bimbo’s 365, April 3rd
5. Sky Ferreira, Rickshaw Stop, April 9th
6. Shovels & Rope, The Crepe Shop, April 11th
7. TNGHT, Mezzanine, April 20th
8. Mount Kimbie, The Independent, June 17th
9. Giraffage, Popscene at Rickshaw Stop, July 4th
10. Jay-Z & Justin Timberlake, Candlestick Park, July 26th
11. The Postal Service & Big Freedia, Greek Theatre, July 26th
12. Nine Inch Nails, Outside Lands, August 10th
13. Neko Case, First City Festival, August 25th
14. Souls of Mischief, Hiero Day, September 2nd
15. Charles Bradley & His Extraordinaires, GAMH, September 4th
16. Disclosure, TIMF, October 19th
17. James Blake, TIMF, October 20th
18. Sleigh Bells, TIMF, October 20th
19. The Eric Andre Show Live, The Chapel, November 11th
20. Mr. Carmack | A-1 | Mikos Da Gawd | Insightful, 1192 Folsom, November 16th
The Lonely Girl’s Beer Guide to San Francisco: Airplanes and Alcohol
It’s that time of the year again, when everyone is traveling and what’s a better pass time then drinking alone in a tube up in the sky that you can’t get out of? A lot of things actually, but sometimes you just have to work with what you got.
Airplanes and alcohol can either be the greatest combination or the absolute worst, due to the high altitude and pressurization in the airplane cabin anything can happen but at least we can all bond over the stories that derive from such precarious matters. Airports and airplanes work solely based on the honor system which in my opinion should be the only system because it’s always 5’ o clock somewhere right?
For example, I was but a newbie 20 year old traveling by myself down to Buenos Aires to meet some of my fellow classmates. I was happily watching Spanish TV and eating my semi frozen lasagna when the flight attendant came up to me again, this time not with a trash bag or more food but two bottles of wine. “Red or White?” she asked… wait… no other options? Soda, water, nothing? I guess I was technically above the country where my age would not permit me to drink booze (in public) so my response, “White, I’m not trying to get too crazy.” She didn’t laugh, but poured me a glass and moved on.
Something inside me changed that day when I gladly drank wine as a minor by myself on that airplane. Maybe it was my dehydration from being thousands of miles above the ground but I felt like a real woman for the first time after exiting my teenage years forever.
Ever since then, drinking in the sky has become my shit, for lack for better words. Now, if you’re really trying to do this right though you must go classy or go home. I’m talking Virgin America classy, where they give away free alcohol like it’s going out of style. “Uh excuse me flight attendant, my seat wont go back,” Free booze. “My TV doesn’t seem to change channels?” Free booze. “First Class,” Free booze. And my all time favorite, “you don’t take Discover card?” Guess what? Free booze. Recently, while flying Virgin America I took the 7 am flight back home on Thanksgiving Day. I didn’t really notice at first but I guess all of the TV’s in my row didn’t work. At first I didn’t care until the flight attendant came by and apologized to the man sitting next to me. I guess he was really upset that he couldn’t watch Keeping Up with the Kardasians so of course guess what we were offered? I jumped on this like nobodies business and I apparently started a trend when I asked for a mimosa because everyone in my aisle decided to order one too. And there we were at 7 am flying miles above the world drinking mimosas and silently enjoying the fact that we were not the only ones doing it. We didn’t really exchange words with each other, but we all knew, this was the greatest day of our lives.
The Lonely Girl's Beer Guide to San Francisco: Everybody Should Go To Driftwood
I moved to my darling apartment tucked in the back corners of the SOMA district almost 3 and a half years ago, this was a time back then when strolling to work next to a shirt-cocker walking their dog and the occasional blow job in my alley on a Friday night were totally a thing. SOMA is, after all the quintessencial leather daddy district of San Francisco. The inner rebelious metal head (not really but I wish) in me was stocked to live in such a quirky environment. A place where goth clubs like DNA lounge and Cat Club could still somehow exist. And I could attend bars like Butter in my sweat pants which helped me drown my sorrows of forever being a broke artist along side of biker men and God knows who else who had the guts to wander the down 11th street. However, a shift has begun, no longer do I see “men” wearing leather chaps roaming the blocks of Folsom street, they have been replaced by “boys” wearing Chrome bags and Google Glass. Artist warehouses where I’ve seen my far share of almost everything after hours have been bought out and turned into the key phrase on every young Franciscan’s mind “start ups;” aka a small room full of eager 20 year old millionaires trying to create the next Facebook. Though few of the small dive bars still hang in the corners of SOMA, many are getting replaced by restaurants that use real cloth napkins.
Anyways, not all gentrification is that bad. I’m really not that bitter I swear. Hidden gems are beginning to appear everywhere in my neighborhood, tucked in between large warehouses and the last of the leather shops. My newest favorite of these, a small bar called Driftwood. It’s dope. No but really, it’s actually an awesome bar. Located between 8th and 9th on Folsom, it’s easy to miss unless you are looking for it. It’s quiet, dim lit with real candles and a fireplace. The couches are cozy and the chairs at the bar are actually very comfortable. There is even a dick in the bathroom, I’M NOT JOKING GO AND LOOK FOR IT YOURSELF.
The drinks are a little pricey, but that’s the price you pay for attempting to go to a nice bar in the SOMA or even San Francisco these days. So, be stoked if you get a couple drinks and pay $20, because they are delicious. This bar kind of reminds me of classier untouched-by-bro Bloodhound, before Bloodhound got really popular and you could even get a drink at 6 PM anyday of the week. I gotta say I love that bar, but it’s kind of become a hectic mess.
At Driftwood, the drinks are super sassy, the bartenders make a mean Picante if you know what I mean ;)
The Lonley Girl's Beer Guide to San Francisco: An Ode to Bubble Baths and Beer
I woke up this morning and realized that I haven’t taken a bath in over 3 years. Why? Probably because baths are a huge waste of time and in a city like San Francisco, time is money and money is time. Real talk though, I don’t understand why it has been so long. Baths, bubble baths especially are incredible. Showers get the job done, but baths on the other hand, rock your world. It’s like one big restart button mentally and physically. You step out of the bath tube feeling like a whole new human person. Potentially fantastic right? So why do we not take the time and to do said bath thing? Because we live in a world where doing nothing for a change is looked down upon and spending time laying in a bath tube full of hot good-ness and bubbles is really not a thing.
I say, screw that and take a bubble bath with a nice cold beer.
Anyways, what the moral of the story for this week is: take that extra time you have and utalize it to your fullest potential. Take a bubble bath, drink a Modelo and relax and think about the world. It’s actually a beautiful place when you’re stoked to be inside of it.
Also, listen to the band Beach Fossils while you are in said bubble bath. It sets the mood perfectly, doing nothing never felt so productive.
The Lonely Girl's Beer Guide to San Francisco – Socially Acceptable Aloneness
Sorry I haven’t posted these last couple of weeks, there comes a time in people’s lives when there just isn’t any time to be alone. Literally, the only time I have had to be alone is when I curl up in bed around 3 am for the few hours I get to sleep at night. Drinking beer in bed could be kosher, but I just have been way too tired to do that. Oh well.
I did however get to escape the craziness for a couple hours last week and wandered into the single place I knew I could have a little quiet time, the St. Francis Drake Hotel on Powell St. Hotel bars are what I like to call “socially acceptable alone bars.” The one place in a city (besides airport bars) that you can go alone and be surrounded by other people who are also drinking alone. At least the people down at St. Francis have a reason to be alone; they are most likely traveling on business or running away from a crazy lover. Or they are a gold digger scouting out for their next victim, which is apparently very common? I would like to be a gold digger someday.
Though hotel bars have pricey drinks, you aren’t just paying for the delicious taste of alcohol to touch your lips and burn your throat - you’re paying for the endless amount of entertainment with the tourists that surround you. Unfortunately, when I first got to the bar I must have been a little early, cause the only entertainment I got was an old guy checking his phone on one side of the bar and a girl laughing to herself on the other side eating cherries. Finally around 10 pm a boat load of tourists fresh off the Duck Tours slammed the bar all at once. I had the opportunity to sit and chat with a couple from Alabama over a glass of delicious jalapeno tequila drink made by a sexy bartender by the name of Chelsea.
The couple asked why I was sitting in a hotel bar in the city I live in all by myself, my reply, “cause I felt like it.”
Next time you’re bored and possibly wandering in Union Square area and also happen to be a wannabe gold digger, go hang out with Chelsea and the tourists at St. Francis Drake. Trust me, it’s worth the $10 beer.
INTERVIEW: Missy from SuicideGirls for the SG Blackheart Burlesque Tour
Being the expert with half naked women that he is, we asked the extremely attractive and talented Do415 Tastemaker Derric Tanner to chat with SuicideGirls Co-Founder Missy about the SG Blackheart Burlesque show at The Fillmore this Friday. When he wasn’t ogling her, he actually used words to form questions… and without drooling too much. We’re very proud of him.
Sexy and fun? How can you say ‘no’? You can’t. The only disappointment you’ll experience is if you DON’T go! Win a pair of tickets HERE
DT: Since there are still people who exist that have never been to a burlesque show, can you explain the difference between burlesque and stripping?
MISSY: Burlesque is sexy tease, our show has choreography and set numbers. We are putting on a show, an experience that we created for this tour.
DT: So no lap dances or anything like that?
MISSY: Nope, we dance on stage :)
DT: since it’s different than stripping, would it be weird if your dad and his friends came to a show?
MISSY: It wouldn’t be too weird. We don’t do anything we should be ashamed of.
DT: Do people recognize you in public yet? How do you deal with that?
MISSY: Sometimes when we are all together but not as much when I am out alone.
DT: Do you get a lot of creepers after a show? Whats the creepiest thing a dude has done to get your attention at a show?
MISSY: Well one time when the bus was going down the highway a guy was leaning out of his car trying to get our attention and screaming “I LOVE YOU”
DT: What’s the secret sauce that makes the Suicide Girls Burlesque so fantastic?
MISSY: Pop culture + Dancing + Amazing Costumes + Pasties + Awesome Host = super fun night
DT: aside from pillow fights and tickle parties what’s your favorite part of this tour?
MISSY: Haha. Probably all the crazy people we’ve met and the hilarious fun we’ve had in strip clubs
DT: Is there another SF date planned for the future?
MISSY: We would love to come back in 2014 :)
DT: In case there is someone who just isn’t convinced at the awesomeness of a Suicide girls burlesque show, what else would you say to get them in the doors?
MISSY: Come, it is a sexy fun time. You won’t be disappointed.
The Lonely Girl's Beer Guide to San Francisco – "When in Doubt, Drink with the Gays"
Moby Dick sits calmly on the not-so-calm corner of 18th and Hartford in the depths of the Castro. It’s one of those rare, gay bar gems in the city that attracts almost everybody, and they happen to be especially nice to all us alcoholic day drinkers.
**Let me step back a couple notches to give you the back story: I developed this day drinking problem sometime around last week when I told myself I wanted to go on a cleanse. I walked into Fly early in the afternoon with every intention on getting a salad and ended up ordering three beers instead. I would feel bad about doing that, but inevitably it led to me writing last week’s article so I guess it was supposed to happen that way. Needless to say, I obviously have no self control.
Anyways, Moby Dick is like a dive bar on steroids. Your bartender has most likely seen it all and it’s got a pool table, but on Mondays there is a naked guy on that pool table and you can draw him. On Wednesdays if you show up to the bar just in your underwear you can play pool for free as well. See, just like a dive bar, right? My favorite part - you can show up at 3 pm and know you won’t be alone, and best of all you will be surrounded by the most upbeat gays who are always down for scavenger hunts and shots. Not your typical day drinkers crowd, I will say, assuming that most day drinkers are down-and-out semi-homeless 60 year olds. Oh gosh, what does that say about me?
This bar is the far opposite of feeling sorry for yourself which is why it was my perfect choice for this week. Literally nothing about this bar will make you sad except for that hangover you have the next morning. With their 2 for 1 frozen margaritas, $2 Tuesdays and fantastic beers on tap, it’s the best deal in the city. You start out telling yourself you’ll only stay for 2 margaritas, 6 later you can’t even find the door. So you sit back down and continue to drink.
Moral of the story is when you’re having a bad week, the gays will always be there for you. They never say no to free shots and will always tell you your hair looks pretty. It’s a match made in heaven for lonely girls like me.
The act of drinking beer with friends is the highest form of art, Tom Marioni once said.
When looking upon poor souls drowning their sorrows away with a glass of beer and a book, sitting alone at the bar with pure saddness, I have always thought; Really? In a glorious city like San Francisco you can’t find at least one person to go to the bar with you? On top of it all, you had to bring a book, HAD to. San Francisco is the singles capital of the world, talk to that beautiful woman sitting in front of you or at least attempt to understand baseball to bond with the other patrons surrounding you screaming their heads off. They will be your friend, and most likely they will buy you shots.
It wasn’t until recently, when I was sitting alone waiting for my friends at the good old Zietgeist down on 14th and Valencia, that it dawned on me. Having a beer alone in a crowded place isn’t sad and pathetic, it’s kind of badass. You reach a point where you cope with how uncomfortable it is to be in a very social setting all by yourself, and rock with it. You look around the room where everyone thinks someone ditched you on a date and you just smile. Yes, I am at this bar by myself… Why? Because I feel like it.
I can honestly say this was one of the most life altering moments I’ve ever had. Whats a better place to meditate then a space dedicated to loosing all inhibition, forgetting about daily life for just a few drinks so when we return to the real world, things just feel a bit more special.
I’m dedicating a little part of my life to drinking alone in bars now. We all need some sort of ritual right? And what’s a better way to make a real judgement of a bar then having nothing or no one else distracting you from what’s really there. I hope you enjoy my explorations and maybe someday you will see me drinking alone and maybe we can be alone at the bar together. Or you can just stare at me and feel sorry for me too… that’s tight. Just know I’m having a good time.